Dear Naruto
by DeathByDarkness13
Summary: "I love you, Sasuke; don't ever forget that." NaruSasu. For Remembrance Day.


_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto, he is the sole property of Sasuke Uchiha who can do whatever he pleases with him._

_A/N: This story was inspired by Remembrance Day, and I hope it captures the reality of war and the suffering it causes, especially when a loved one leaves to fight. It was also slightly inspired by Dear John (a good movie), thus the title._

_Warning: Contains yaoi and mpreg._

_Please review, they keep me alive :)_

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><p><strong>Dear Naruto<strong>

_"At the end of the world,_

_Or the last thing I see_

_You are never coming home,_

_Never coming home_

_Could I? Should I?_

_And all the things that you never ever told me,_

_And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me_

_Never coming home, never coming home_

_Could I? Should I?_

_And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me,_

_For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me."_

_-My Chemical Romance_

The warm, spicy smell of ramen wafted throughout the small house, soaking into the thin, black fabric of Sasuke's long sleeve t-shirt. He stirred the boiling noodles expertly, watching as they began to soften in the sweet soup they were currently swimming in. Sasuke lifted the wooden spoon, raising a sample of the hot soup to his lips, scrutinizing the goldish orange liquid before taking a tentative sip. He let it sit on his tongue for a while, swishing the soup around in his mouth to test the flavour, then swallowed. Pleased at his cooking skills, the raven proceeded to add pork, eggs, and bok choy to the mixture, stirring thoughtfully. A certain blonde filled his mind, causing the Uchiha to smile lovingly. But that beautiful, honest smile soon faded into a grimace. He continued to stir, a little more forcibly this time.

Sasuke hated ramen. So why was he making it, you ask? It was a tribute; a symbol of good luck, a hope that a loved one would return safely home. Naruto was fighting in the war. Ever since he had left, Sasuke had eaten ramen everyday. For some reason, it comforted him. Maybe it was the smell; that familiar, homey smell that seemed to linger slightly on the blonde mixed in with his natural, sweet honeysuckle scented skin that he was so accustomed to now.

He briefly recalled the last letter he had sent to Naruto. Before he had left, him and Sasuke had promised to write each other everyday. By now they had exchanged hundreds of letters, a large pile of them sitting in a messy stack on the coffee table in the living room. It was hard on both of them being apart. Sasuke fiddled unconsciously with the sterling silver ring around his left, middle finger. His wedding ring. Naruto wore the same one, refusing to take it off even though he was going to war.

Sasuke rubbed his tummy gently, wondering what Naruto's reaction had been to the news of his last letter. It was shocking, not to mention extremely rare for a male, but all the same Sasuke couldn't help but feel happy. He was pregnant. Soon, him and Naruto would be parents raising their own family together. It filled Sasuke with such mirth that he felt like crying. They were both so blessed.

It had to have been the night before Naruto left that had caused it, or maybe their baby had already been on its way before. But that was irrelevant. Sasuke couldn't seem to stop replaying their final night together over and over again in his mind everytime he went to bed. Maybe it was because the bed felt so empty with only one person, when it was meant for two. Or the fact that Sasuke had nothing to hold onto now at night for reassurance, and no one to hold onto him when he had nightmares about the murder of his family. Sasuke turned off the stove gripping the counter harder then necessary, trying to contain the ache inside his heart as he remembered.

-oOo-oOo-oOo-

_"I miss you."_

_Naruto stared at the raven, his pale skin bathed in the silvery glow of the moon outside. Sasuke's face might've looked indifferent or emotionless to anyone else, but Naruto knew his face. He could see the pain that was so well hidden there, yet so plain in sight to Naruto's eyes. He reached out to gently caress the Uchiha's smooth, ivory cheeks, causing him to blush slightly. Sasuke just looked so... sad._

_"But teme, I'm right here," Naruto whispered, almost pleadingly. Sasuke shifted his weight on their soft, cozy bed, leaning forward to rest his chin on Naruto's shoulder from behind. They stayed that way for a while, the only sound their quiet breathing in the dark bedroom._

_"I'm just... scared," Sasuke said in a quivering, hushed voice. "What if something happens to you? I can't... lose you." Naruto turned his head slightly to brush their lips lightly together. "I get why, and if I could go, I would come with you. But it's just hard... being apart."_

_"Just believe in me Sasuke, like you always have," Naruto murmured softly. A few tears rolled down Sasuke's distressed face, and he nodded, realizing that he couldn't change the blonde's mind. Naruto caught a tear with his finger. "We'll be okay." He leaned over the raven, causing them both to tumble backwards into the warm and inviting bed._

_They kissed passionately, their bodies tangling in the thin, lavender sheets. Lust and love lingered thickly in the air as they danced an intimate dance as old as time. As they professed their love to each other in the way only eternal companions and soul-mates could, Sasuke yanked Naruto roughly down, meeting his lips with a sweet kiss. Sasuke's hands wrapped tightly around Naruto's neck, his long, slender legs following suit around the blonde's waist as he fell lost in the feeling of being one physically with his lover. Their tongues tangled and twisted together, marvelling at the other's taste. Naruto reached up to tangle his hands in Sasuke's soft black hair, Sasuke gripping his waist. Naruto caressed him gently, their kisses deep and tender._

_When their dance ended, both men basking in the afterglow of their performance, Naruto rested his head comfortably on Sasuke's hard, white chest. The Uchiha gently stroked the soft blonde tresses, and then kissed the top of Naruto's head, cradling him as if he would never let him go again._

_"I love you, Naruto," Sasuke whispered affectionately. Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke's slender waist, placing a small kiss on his collarbone._

_"I love you too, Sasuke," Naruto replied back softly. "I'll be with you forever, believe it." Sasuke chuckled warmly, smiling lovingly down at the blonde sprawled on top of him in their bed before they both drifted off into a peaceful slumber._

-oOo-oOo-oOo-

Sasuke shivered, the ghost of their skin in perfect contrast causing him to whimper. His thoughts and memories were always so vivid. How Sasuke missed the blonde's touch, his soft, boyish voice, those bright blue eyes that could see right into his very soul, Naruto's lips on his, that big, excited smile always plastered on his face... Sasuke missed him so damn much it was killing him. Everyday he wondered if he had made the right choice in letting Naruto go like that. Should he have stopped him? If something happened to Naruto, Sasuke would have to carry that guilt for the rest of his life.

No, Sasuke had to believe in him, he had to believe that Naruto would return home in one piece for Sasuke's sake, his own sake, and especially for their unborn baby's sake.

_He'll be alright_, Sasuke thought certainly to himself. He untied the frilly pink apron around his neck and waist, hanging it up gingerly in the hall closet. Naruto had bought it for him as a gag gift, and somehow was always able to persuade Sasuke to wear it though it was never in front of company. Sasuke took out a porcelain bowl, pouring the steaming contents of the pan cautiously into it. He pulled out a chair, and sat down at the table to eat supper alone.

Lifting the chopsticks to his face, he blew gently on the noodles then took a bite. How Naruto could eat this stuff everyday of his life and not get sick of it, Sasuke had no idea. But Sasuke ate anyway, his thoughts drifting to the blonde yet again.

Sasuke had been so angry at Naruto when he had told him he wanted to fight in the war. But it had been more the feeling of abandonment that had cut Sasuke so deep. He remembered the day Naruto had told him almost a year ago like it was yesterday.

-oOo-oOo-oOo-

_Why is he leaving me? Why! Sasuke stared back at Naruto, tears brimming in his deep black eyes that were shimmering with hurt. Naruto sighed painfully, his aqua blue eyes pleading for him to understand._

_"Sasuke, I can't just stand by while thousands of people are dying, fighting for our home," he said softly, in a surprisingly calm tone._

_"I want to come with you," Sasuke whispered, tears pouring down his face. Naruto winced, and walked slowly over to the crying Uchiha. It made his heart ache to see Sasuke that upset. He gently pulled Sasuke into his arms, and they embraced quietly for a moment._

_"We both know that you can't," Naruto said in a strained voice. "Your eyes still haven't recovered from that horse stampede." Sasuke gripped Naruto's shoulders hard in frustration. Someone had destroyed the Akamichi's farm. They set the barn on fire, the frightened animals stampeding into the streets. Sasuke had unfortunately been out during the commotion, and was trampled by a group of horses. He was lucky to see at all._

_"I know," Sasuke murmured in defeat. He pressed his forehead to Naruto's. They were both approximately the same height, Sasuke maybe half an inch taller. Their even gazes met, and they stared at each other intensely. "I just don't want to lose you."_

_"Everything will be alright, Teme," Naruto whispered reassuringly. "I just want us to live in a place without all of this war and hatred, where we don't have to worry about which of our friends has died today. A peaceful place where we can live happy together, and grow old... That's what I want for us." Sasuke kissed Naruto softly for a moment, both of them understanding what this meant for them. Separation._

_"Just promise that you'll write to me everyday when I go?" Naruto asked hopefully. Sasuke smiled sadly back at him, knowing that once Naruto had made a decision there was no going back._

_"Of course," he answered quietly. Then the double meaning to writing letters hit him hard, nearly knocking the breath out of him. Sasuke breathed in sharply, biting back more tears. "It's for... just in case, right?"_

-oOo-oOo-oOo-

Just in case something happened to Naruto. That way he'd at least have his final words.

_Nothing will happen to him_, Sasuke thought forcefully. The Uchiha had already lost too much in his lifetime, and felt like there was nothing else he could lose. God wouldn't take someone else away from him, especially the one person that meant the world to Sasuke, and not when they had a baby on the way.

Sasuke finished his ramen, wondering when Naruto would return home. He smiled as he realized that the blonde should be back soon. He stood up abruptly, taking his bowl over to the kitchen sink. Grinning to himself, he let his mind wander to their reunion. He scrubbed his bowl gently with a sponge and a dab of dish soap, his hand moving in slow circles over the fragile porcelain as he wondered how Naruto would greet him. Sasuke chuckled to himself, assuming that he would greet him the same as always.

Whenever Naruto returned home from a mission, he would grin that stupid grin of his, then pick Sasuke up and spin him around in a loose embrace. When he would finally put the laughing Uchiha down, their lips would meet in a soft and sweet kiss. Sasuke would then whisper in his ear like usual, _"Welcome home, Usuratonkachi."_

Sasuke turned the stove back on to keep the remaining ramen heated. He quickly scoured the fridge for some fish cakes, and threw a few into the mixture knowing that Naruto enjoyed them. He couldn't wait to see his dobe again, and he couldn't help but hope he'd return that day. Sasuke's hands went automatically to his stomach. Even though he was pregnant, it wasn't that noticeable. The Uchiha consistently wore dark colours like navy blue and black, and his shirts were always loose-fitting, so they concealed the small but distinct bump that was the baby growing inside of him. It was due soon. Fixing himself a glass of water, Sasuke was reminded that he needed to visit Sakura in order to get another ultrasound. Last time she had checked, the baby was going to be a girl.

He thought of Sakura's own child, a 1 year old baby boy named Shun who had been born shortly after Sakura and Lee had been married. He had a tuft of soft, light pink hair and large, innocent black eyes. Sasuke secretly loved children; they could be annoying at times, but the whole process of another human life being born into this world was something that Sasuke found truly amazing. Now that he thought about it, just about all of their married friends had children or were going to. Hinata was pregnant with twins, and Tenten had a 3 year old daughter named Miku. Temari had suffered a miscarriage, but Sasuke heard that her and Shikamaru would try again when he returned.

Most of Sasuke's friends' husbands were fighting in the war right along with Naruto. Lee, Shikamaru, Kiba, Neji... they were all soldiers fighting to save the land of Fire, too. Because of that, Sasuke had spent a lot of time with the women left at home. They all shared their worry and concern for their loved ones; it was nice knowing that there were others who knew what he was going through.

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Sasuke jumped, startled, and nearly sprinted to answer it. Could it really be Naruto? Tears were welling in his big, obsidian eyes as he reached for the doorknob, holding his breath. He flung open the door, ready to embrace the blonde that had to be on the other side. Deep emotion and love and relief coated his voice.

"Naruto-!"

Sasuke froze. It wasn't Naruto. Instead he found a tall, lean man in a green spandex suit and lighter green vest, his shiny black hair wet from the rain outside as he stood at his doorstep. Was he... crying? A sinking feeling began to spread throughout Sasuke's gut as Lee stared at him with sorrowful, pity-filled eyes.

"Where is Naruto?" Sasuke asked quietly, his voice shaking. Lee winced, causing Sasuke to flinch, not knowing if he truly wanted an answer. The look in the other man's face was really scaring him.

"Sasuke, I am so sorry. Naruto, he's..." Sasuke's face crumpled in pain, his mind unable to process the last word in Lee's sentence. _Naruto, he's... gone._ The Uchiha desperately gripped the doorframe for support. He could smell the rest of the ramen burning back in the kitchen. "He got shot four times in the chest. He should have been dead, but he managed to crawl all the way back to camp. Shikamaru found him, covered in dirt and blood... he was mumbling that he could not die yet because he promised you... but his wounds were too severe, and he died right there. Shikamaru tried to avenge him, but was killed as well. I am so sorry Sasuke, we lost them both." Lee's voice cracked in the last sentence, tears streaming down his face.

_Poor Sasuke, poor Temari._

Sasuke couldn't breathe. The whole world was spinning all around him, and Lee's sobbing figure became blurry with the tears threatening to spill over Sasuke's shocked face. This couldn't be happening, Naruto couldn't be dead!

_He's lying! Naruto can't be, he promised!_

The raven couldn't accept the horrifying reality that was thrust so harshly into his face, the painful news he had just heard. Was this God's idea of some sick, cruel joke?

"Here, Sasuke." Lee held out a dirty-looking envelope, bearing a letter. His hand shook as Sasuke weakly accepted it. "It was the last letter that Naruto wrote to you. He never got a chance to send it, but I still think you should have it."

"Thank you..." Sasuke whispered in a broken voice. Lee turned his head away from the Uchiha, unable to stand the pain and helplessness and guilt showing all too clearly on Sasuke's face. It was hard seeing someone so strong look so broken. He cleared his throat, wishing he could do something to help, but it was too late now. There was nothing else he could do.

"I am going to go tell Temari," Lee said quietly. "You are welcome to come see Sakura, Shun and I anytime. Again, I am so sorry." He saluted Sasuke, attempted to stop the flow of tears down his face, then ran off to Temari's place.

Sasuke closed the door mechanically, and then slowly sunk to his knees. Tears exploded from his wide, empty black eyes as he gripped the letter tightly in his shaking hand. He slammed a fist down on the floor, and emitted a sobbing, strangled cry full of anguish. It was a mournful sound, one filled with the fresh pain of loss.

"Why him? Of all people, why did you take him?" Sasuke cried helplessly up to the ceiling. "What am I supposed to do now? You've already taken everything I love away from me, so why am I still here? Why can't you take me, too?

Tears poured continuously down his cheeks as he sobbed helplessly into his hands. After almost an hour, Sasuke glanced down at the letter; the only thing left of Naruto. He stood up almost drunkenly, and wandered to their bedroom for more privacy.

Weakly, he plopped down on the bed, and gingerly opened the letter with the tips of his fingers. His hands shook as he smoothed the yellowed parchment and began to read.

_Dear Teme,_

_Your previous letter made me so happy, I can't even describe the feeling of joy swelling in my heart right now. We're going to have our own family! You said it's a girl, right? Wow, our own daughter! I can't wait to come home and share this moment with you. I'm so happy, damn I love you._

_Everything's okay down here. The enemy hasn't been sighted for a whole week, so we're back at camp right now. I should be home in a few days! I've missed you so much over these past several months, and I just want to see your face again. Heck, I even miss when you're pissed at me!_

_Lately, I've been thinking a lot about you, our friends, and everyone that is important to me. I've seen so many people get killed, and it really put something into perspective for me. I'm very lucky to be alive. We both can't ignore the truth and the cold reality anymore; there's a chance that I could die here. Just in case, if anything happens to me, Sasuke, you have to promise me that you'll keep on living. You can't follow me into the dark, when our daughter is on the way. She can't go through the same things we did. You must continue living for the both of us. I know that it's a cruel thing to ask; if I lost you, I wouldn't want to continue life without you either. But you have to stay strong for me; I believe in you Teme._

_If something does happen to me, then I'm grateful that the last words I said to you were "I love you" and I hope you know that those words are true. I love you more than anything in this world Sasuke, believe it. If I die, please don't forget me, and tell our daughter about her brave daddy that fought for her safety and happiness. Tell her about how we hated each other as kids and how we fell in love, take her to Ichiraku's for her birthday, share her with our friends and the whole world, and love her with everything you have._

_We started out as rivals, slowly becoming best friends, then we became lovers, and before we knew it, we were partners and eternal companions. You are my everything, Sasuke. You are the first thing on my mind when I wake up, and the last thing I think about before I fall asleep. Remember that day we went to the beach and you fell and twisted your ankle? I have a photo from that day that I keep in my pocket at all times so that whenever I feel like giving up, I can look at it and be reminded of what I'm fighting for. It's a picture of me giving you a piggyback; you're kissing me on the cheek and I'm laughing because Lee is about to squirt Sakura with that watergun. I'm glad the picture survived._

_Everyday I can hear your voice whispering in my ear that you love me, giving me the strength I need to keep fighting. You've told me enough to last a thousand lifetimes, but I never get tired of hearing it. I'll be with you forever Sasuke, even after death. If I'm not with you in person, then I'm with you in Spirit. And I will always be there for you when you need me, ready to catch you if you fall and watching over you until we are reunited._

_I love you, Sasuke; don't ever forget that._

_Love,_

_Naruto_

Sasuke winced, tears falling gently upon the letter leaving small, black smudge marks on the fragile paper. He hugged it close to him, closing his eyes as the pain consumed his entire being.

Naruto would never get the chance to meet their daughter. That fact hit Sasuke like a ton of bricks, especially after reading how happy Naruto had been to hear the news of his pregnancy. How could life be so harsh on someone so pure? And how was Sasuke to go on without Naruto? Sasuke needed him; he couldn't live without him. Naruto had been the only thing he had left to live for and now he was gone. Naruto was asking Sasuke to do the impossible.

He couldn't lie to himself; Sasuke truly wanted to die, but he knew that he couldn't. He couldn't let his lover down. Sasuke glanced down at the bump protruding from his shirt, a few tears seeping into the fabric. He silently made a promise to never leave their daughter, and if she really did turn out to be a girl, he was going to name her 'Naru' in honour of Naruto's loving sacrifice.

Sasuke continued to cry, feeling the cold irony of Naruto's words, but understanding what he had to do for his companion.

_Naruto, I love you, and I don't want to wait that long to see you again, but..._

Sasuke placed a hand gently over his stomach as he sobbed.

"I'll try, dobe, I'll try..."

.

.

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**The End**


End file.
